Prompt: Animals (+MM)
Long Necks
Unflapped
Blinking eyes, long-lashed, langorously staring
back at me–unseeing.
Brushing branches aside in quest of soft green
nibbles–chewing–ungulating–
Spotted. Not quite spots, more like softened
angular imprints–identifying mother to child.
Short-cropped bristles designed for native
savannah-ed vistas, not this temperate zoo location.
To see you in your real life
unwalled
unfettered
uncaptured nature.
So still
Even in running
Herds of legs and necks
Unbreakably free.
Do you remember
Free?
©2012 yahneverknow
Um. Yah. Sorry if I’m not refined enough, but the 3 Marianne Moore pieces linked in the NaPoWriMo.net post just do not do it for me. I didn’t investigate her work further. Feel free to pass along any that you think I should look at.
More info on NaPoWriMo2012
(National Poetry Writing Month 2012)
Michelle,
Ok so after I figured out that this wasn’t going to be about beer ;) I really liked it.
I didn’t read any of the tag or prompt stuff, I just started in so … Long Necks.. had me thinking elsewhere…
That being said, you really do a great job of painting an image.
I especially liked these lines:
“Brushing branches aside in quest of soft green
nibbles–chewing–ungulating–
Spotted. Not quite spots, more like softened
angular imprints–identifying mother to child.”
Keep them coming :)
Peace,
Stephen
Hi Stephen,
When I titled it, I laughed. I thought about changing it, but I left it on purpose, kind of wondering if anyone reading it would laugh at it, too. (I heard that Heineken is going to long-necks, too? Weird.)
Thank you for your compliments. :)
Strangely, I’m finding that the lines in my writings that resonate with readers the most are the ones that come out of my head directly (sprung, full-grown, yada yada, though i’m not Zeus) onto the paper. I’m wondering if I should throw away the filter.
Cheers!
Michelle
Michelle,
I have found that what I consider some of my better work is the stuff that just “pours” out of me. That usually happens when it’s something that I connect with / am passionate about / have personally gone through my self etc. And yes, I would recommend throwing away the filter… you can always apply it later :D
Keep up the great work… off to figure out my Day 9 poem
Stephen
Pingback: NaPoWriMo2012: It’s Over « yahneverknow