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Who made up that rule?

Oh, phooey. See, no one told me where to go to find the MUST-READ-THIS-BEFORE-ENTERING-BLOGOSPHERE Blogger’s Handbook. I probably wouldn’t have followed all the rules anyway, so maybe that’s why.

A while back, I kinda had a blog. It wasn’t really a blog. It was more like an online journal-explosion filled with lots of stuff I shouldn’t have let out there. Oopsie. Not all of it was public, but I was a bit lost in the technical aspects of blogging, so it could have been bad had I kept it out there. Oopsie again.

I was told by a friend that, well… that I basically sounded crazy and my topics were kind of all over the place.

The crazy part I didn’t argue with. A lot of that came out of my then-current life situation involving my bipolar* ex and his (also) bipolar* mom. I am not going to apologize for my emotions. As for throwing it out there in the public… eh…  No names. References to family and friends were vague. “Gay domestic partner” became “wife” or “husband.” Heck, it was even shrouded enough that the people in that family didn’t even know who was who on the blog, given their daily visits, screenshots, and ensuing misunderstandings and threats. So, yah. I was crazy in my keyboard diarrhea. I had to get it out of my head, though. And it worked.

As for the frenetic topic choice… That part I didn’t understand: then or now. I know some blogs are started with a specific purpose. Groovy. If you’re writing a topic-specific blog on purpose, kudos. May your followers be many, may you rise to the top of your category on WordPress, and may you be FreshPressed.

I, too, started this blog for a specific purpose: to take bits from inside my head and throw them out there. There’s a whole heck of a lot of stuff in there. I’m just skimming off the top (though it is debatable whether it’s the cream or the oil). I’m not terribly picky, but I do try to give the topic a good go when it is attempted. When something pops into my head and I think it could become a post, I start a new one. Sometimes I write it in one chunk and it is posted immediately. Other times, I attempt to organize my thoughts a little more clearly so that people outside of my head can understand don’t misunderstand me.

I learned early on (middle school) that my brain makes a lot of train-of-logic jumps that I take as ‘given’ but a lot of other people need to have proven or explained as some kind of proof… validity? It makes for a LOT of misunderstanding and/or a LOT of explaining, so I often ‘preface’ as a defense mechanism against future frustration.

I always hated it in math class, too. If I look at a problem and immediately figure out the answer in my head, why do I have to write down how I got there? So that you know I didn’t cheat? Cheating is so not in my vocabulary, you shouldn’t have to ask that. Oh, wait…

Ah. Here we go again.

Maybe it all does come down to honesty.

I expect it.
I give it.
And I’m horrible at fully accepting the fact that most humans don’t do either of those things.

So, here I am. And here is my theme, should you require it:

Driving up the California Coast

I love water.

Navigating the waters of life,
figuring out where the truth and honesty lie.**

(Ha ha. No wonder I like poker so much.)

*Please note that I have nothing inherently against those that are afflicted with bipolar disorder. I just know that the bipolar-ness of these particular individuals, combined with their inabilities to… *ahem* realize that they shouldn’t direct their own treatments without some input from anyone else, significantly impacted my life in a so-negative-it’s-like-absolute-zero kind of way.
**Alternate: Bits o’Michelle’s brain… Free for a limited time!

Edited to add: Not directed at that friend or anyone in particular. Just my thoughts, stemming from reflection and from a few things said to me by readers.